Why is it that, as women, we’re always comparing ourselves to each other so brutally?
I love my best friend Olivia she’s beautiful, magnetic, and the kind of girl who turns heads when she walks into a room. And if I’m being totally honest… yeah, I’ve felt jealous. A quiet, unspoken kind of jealousy. One I’d never say out loud, because it feels wrong to admit. But the truth is, I’ve silently judged myself in her shadow more times than I can count, the way I look in certain outfits, the way I show up in photos, how my body feels when I move.
I wish I could say I started working out to become a “better person” but that’s not how it began.
I started my fitness journey out of vanity. I wanted to be hot. I wanted to look like those Instagram girls with tiny waists, abs that pop, and leggings that hug just right. I thought maybe if I looked like that, I’d finally feel confident… or loved… or enough.
But that version of “hot” wasn’t real. And it definitely wasn’t healthy.
After watching my best friend battle and nearly lose her life to an eating disorder, everything shifted. I started to truly see that health isn’t about looking a certain way. It’s about how you feel and being the best version of yourself not only for you, but for your loved ones, and children.
5 Things I Wish I Knew About Getting Fit (That No One Talks About)
1. Feeling good beats being skinny every single time.
When I started fueling my body with real food, moving consistently, and resting properly, everything got better. My moods balanced out. I had more energy. My skin cleared. My periods became less painful (which btw — extremely painful periods are not just something you have to suffer through).
Looking “hot” became a side effect (at least I hoped lol) not the goal.
2. Stop comparing yourself to other women.
There will always be someone you wish you looked like. But there’s also someone out there who would do anything to be you right now. Let that sink in.
One day at the gym, I caught myself glancing at this ridiculously toned girl. She looked strong and lean and beautiful and I felt like she must have a secret hack or something it just wasn’t fair. That little voice of comparison crept in, whispering: Why don’t you look like that yet?
Then I looked to the other side there was another woman, lifting light weights, clearly at the beginning of her own journey. She glanced at me, we smiled at each other, and I realized: she might be looking at me thinking, “I hope I get there one day.”
That moment grounded me. For some reason it hit hard.
3. It takes time. Trust the process.
There is no “overnight” transformation, and I know everyone says this, but it’s because it’s true. Real, lasting change comes slowly and it should. The goal isn’t to rush to some perfect body; it’s to build habits you can sustain, and to create a version of yourself that feels strong, balanced, and deeply rooted in health both mentally and physically.
Some weeks will feel slow. Some workouts won’t feel great. You will feel behind. But trust the process. You’re building something that is for the rest of your life, not just for this moment.
4. Be grateful for your body it’s doing so much for you.
We focus so much on what our bodies look like that we forget to thank them for what they do. Your legs carry you through life. Your arms hug the people you love. Your heart beats through hard days. Your body is your home treat it like one.
When you shift from punishing your body to caring for it, everything changes.
A great exercise is to think of three things that you are grateful for, about yourself physically and say it out loud. For example “I am grateful for my healthy hair, I am grateful for my nails, I am grateful for my eyes.”
5. Don’t ruin your body with toxins trying to meet someone else’s standard.
The diet pills. The sketchy “fat burners.” The harsh detoxes. The synthetic junk marketed as “fitness essentials.” I’ve tried some of it, and it never made me feel good. In fact, it made me feel worse.
The more I cleaned up my products, food, and supplements, the more I realized: your body wants to heal. It wants to feel good. You just have to stop fighting it with harsh, fake solutions, and over-processed foods. Health doesn’t come in a plastic bottle with a warning label, it comes from taking care of yourself naturally, over time.
You don’t need to look like anyone else to be worthy. You don’t need to fit a mold to be strong, sexy, radiant, or happy.
If you’re starting your fitness journey to love your body not punish it I’m proud of you. If you’re still figuring that out, that’s okay too. This is your reminder that health is how you feel, not just how you look.
And trust me: when you start showing up for yourself because you love your body, not because you hate it, everything changes.
Have a story about how your mindset changed? Share it in the comments!